"For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted." --Luke 14:11
It's happened again. One step back, and hoping for a strong step forward. I've mentioned having to "go back to the basics," and how it was inevitable that my running would suffer after withdrawing from the cross country team. But only recently have I begun to lose the sense of pride I used to hold.
It's to know surprise that I find myself weaker than I was two years ago. Lazier. Slower. But I've always told myself that I could jump right back into running six days a week, two-a-days, eight-plus miles easily. Now I know that I can't 'walk the walk.' Not only do I have to go back to the basics, but I've had to completely strip myself of all my pride and take the beginner's approach to running.
Two days ago I ran for a few minutes, only to stop and catch my breath. Then I ran a few more minutes. Repeat several times. I was ashamed. I could come up with excuse after excuse, but the truth is simple: I'm not the runner I used to be. I finally had to accept the fact that I'm not as hot as my former teammates (I'm not talking about appearances here). It wasn't easy, and I still don't want to let go of ALL that pride, no matter how little some might say I have rights to.
The important thing to realize is that pride is baggage. I've let it hold me back instead of pushing me forward, for every step back that I've taken has weighed down my spirit, slowing progress by spending time feeling sorry for myself or that I've let someone down. Hopefully now I will simply run, only focusing on what's ahead and applying what I've learned.
Official RunDisney Marathon training begins September 9. My beloved Kat is back, and I've even picked up a new running buddy on occasion. A schedule is coming soon. Encouragement is always appreciated.
